Saturday, November 13, 2010 ©~jUn²珺☆
hello world
spurred on by pings comment
ya its been a while since ive written anything
exams are over (:
and i am (i hope) officially 2/5th the way into medical school (:
assuming that i ve passed this exam :|
knew that med school would be tiring,
but the period leading up to exams was crazy
adrenaline kept me going i think
so immediately after exams were over, i crashed.
am writing this in bed even,
cuz all i ve felt is odynophagia, rhinitis and the runs.
whee.
lots of things have happened since i ve last posted this
and its an inevitable part of growing up
that you experience things, you gain some, you lose some
and at the end of the day, you change.
nobody remains static their whole life
and this being away from home is merely accelerating the changes
that i would have to experience anyway.
to learn more about what people expect from you
and how much to expect from people in general (very little that is)
what sort of person would make a true-er friend
and which are the ones you merely say hi bye and make 2 minute conversations with.
it never ceases to amaze me how much some people love me
like bec and mel. i dont really see much of them in school,
i dont talk much to them,
but at the end of the day, it really amazes me
how much concern they have for me
and how much love they shower on me.
and those always have a reserved spot in my heart.
this whole trip (is 2 years considered a "trip"?)
i ve learnt the hard way
that what you give,
is rarely what you get in return.
ideally you would give without hoping for anything in return
but for me, once i give in friendship,
it means i have taken you into my heart
and that unfortunately does mean some form of expectations,
like it or not.
mummy says all my friends are weirdos
(with reference to people here in oz, haha those in singapore are less weird apparently :P)
haha but i guess its hard for her to understand as well,
because, ultimately people are looking out for themselves,
too busy to see things around them.
ya there definitely exists people who go out of their way to help others
to make sure that everyone is well,
but those people, even when they are present,
are far outnumbered by those who take these people for granted,
who take advantage of these people.
sadly, yes i have become more cynical of people and their motivations
but after thinking the best of people all the time,
and realizing that it is not necessarily true,
wouldnt you too question your belief and take a peek from the other side?
oh wells,
i ll be fine.
anyway on the other hand, exams are finally over
clinicals start next year
dunno whether to feel excited or horrified.
looking at the amount of knowledge i have now,
im definitely more horrified than excited.
howwwwwwwwww on earth am i going to reach the level of competence required?
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
other highlights of this holidays:
going to vellore, india! :)
going on a hospital attachment stint there
and they have regular weekend vacc camps in the rural areas
should be fun to see! :)
and maybe an attachment in TTSH as well ohwellz. :)
moving house is a pain in the butt
have never realized how much clothes i own till now
(revelation once a year :D) haha
should start selling some i dont wear off on ebay :P
shopping has been unrestrained this year
should stop soon.
but then again they re going markets tmr.
hee. i think i may buy something :P
maxi dresses are my new fav
cuz it hides hips well HAHA. oops.
i now own 3. no wait. 4. HAHA.
oops.
would be really heartbroken next year when people move away
why are the hospitals all spaced so far apart
and why ): why are my friends all leaving to the city ):
and and and.
thank you for being there :)
and since its nearing the end of the year,
a list of special people to be especially thankful for :D
anna.kevin.beow.bernard.tim(domo).yowie.kia.melvin.
for being there when i needed someone.
for knowing when i needed someone.
for being yourself and no one else :)
Sunday, May 09, 2010 ©~jUn²珺☆
every action you take
has a consequence
GROW UP
and learn to deal with it
and stop letting others
pick up the broken pieces.
Saturday, April 17, 2010 ©~jUn²珺☆
of learning, growing up and changing
someone mentioned to me recently that i ve changed
maybe he dint mean in it the sense that i feel i have
but i guess
duo duo shao shao
i
have changed
well this change is associated with growing up,
and opening up my eyes to whats there in front of me
so im glad (:
there are somethings true friends dont do to each other
and if i ve changed as a result of that
its just because i have become smarter
no longer the dumb girl who does everything for everyone anymore
Thursday, March 11, 2010 ©~jUn²珺☆
being a year 2 meddie!
hi pings (:
haha my blog has long been dead, cuz cant really summon up the energy to revive it,
but since you asked (:
year 2 has been different
been dreading it for ages
not just leaving family
not about heavier workload
but knowing that things would be very much different
as compared to last time
but since im here
just make the most of it
like mommy says
im here to get an education
not here to play or socialize or what not
and i guess
ya know what is most important at this point to me
its been difficult settling in
probably because of the differences this year
everyone s living far away
and the distance does put a strain
no matter what people say
there are many times
"what ifs" came to mind
but those "what ifs" are not to be
so just settle in and see what happens?
i didnt expect year 2 to be the time for me to be more
open (?) i guess
to knowing other people
to step out of the singaporean group
and speak more to others.
in a sense, it is due to the situation as well
but it has been a great experience,
seeing how wonderful some people are
and realizing how narrow my vision has been.
insecurities stay
and they probably will stay for awhile
and emotions will still come into play
but i dare say
it will get better
and i will have to learn
dont i
that self-worth
is not dependent on what others think of you
you control your own selfworth
and if things you do 对得起天地良心
then i dont see why you should berate yourself
for what others do or say.
its also a chance to see
who they are.
actually i think writing about it
has cleared out my thoughts.
whee
school works been piling on,
but im actually very happy about that?
like what we re learning now is much more interesting
(apart from certain topics like health enhancement)
anatomy is thorax
its crazy to memorize everything
but its so interesting!
haha i guess thats what s keeping me going
starting on head and neck soon
=_= can foresee greater eyebags.
maybe i ll need "eyebras" like wen needs hurhur
): the poor med students
and more school work means less time to xiang duo duo
i reckon i ve got really good tutors too
anatomy
clinical skills
PBL
(: and i think tutors who know their stuff
are worth more than their weight in gold
thankful for them (:
and for good classmates!
omg. my PBL class is so smart
im going to peng.
haha nothing like a 3.5 hour PBL session to
get your adrenaline pumping for mugging
apart from school
signed up for gym and fitness classes
(: pretty cool stuff
pilates and aerobics hurhur
aerobics was really hiong though
dint expect it haha!
and went for a jiujitsu class with xuan
AH they have purple belt! no fair ):
haha. its really similar but with more restraining exercises? (armlocks etc)
and their way of training is different.
i miss trainings ):
and i miss the people i train with moree.
btw plans to join inline hockey failed once again
cuz ben xiao jie s luggage when coming over was 30 kg w/o the skates
on a 20kg luggage allowance.
ahwells. maybe just not meant to beeee.
even after saying year 2 is busy,
i think we can still find time to do other things
go to the gym, exercise, play
met up with the juniors yesterday
ah some of them are really adorable haha
and i can foresee future times where i will def get bullied
but ohwells.
me:"hi, im majun"
her/him:"OHHHH majun"
O_O what have people been saying about me.
get a life! (:
and support each other through all these times
(:
Sunday, January 24, 2010 ©~jUn²珺☆
why has it come to this?
who do i trust?
who do i confide in?
i miss just playing snapjack
without any worries in the world
like just now.
invictus anyone?
its NOT BORING!
i think.
Friday, January 22, 2010 ©~jUn²珺☆
要学聪明一点
不要像以前那么笨，
别人说什么都信，
到头来只有自己被骗。
如果我这个朋友对你来说是可以取代的，
是不重要、随时可以忘记的，
那我宁愿不做你的朋友
不要因为你的爱理不理而受伤
为了朋友
我可以不顾一切
但如果我的一切，
只换来你的漠不关心
那你不值得我的付出吧
可能适应了就好了吧
现在看清一切
可别懵懵懂懂
被当成傻瓜还不知道
马珺真是个笨蛋
被耍了还不知道
还心甘情愿的受别人摆布
要学聪明一点
不要再上当了
Wednesday, January 06, 2010 ©~jUn²珺☆
majun
is sick of this all
cant summon up energy to do stuff
and needs something to look forward to!
):
